Oh baby, I'm missing you

It's been more than two days, that I heard your sweet voice

Our last meet and last chat, I was mad without a reason

But, that's the way I have got myself living all these days without you

I go mad at everything, when you are not around

I'm out of my soul, living like a dead man, 5 feet 10 inch of flesh and bones and some blood

Got a brain, but I keep it busy with your thoughts, our memories and all the past

Heart ? What's that !!!

It's just a fistful piece that keeps blood pumping and circulating throughout the body

Soul, its only imaginary thing, a myth, doesn't exist

Seems like I'm losing my faith in everything

I hate the light

I love the night

'Cause I have to get through the day without you and your love

But, I can sleep and dream about you all the night, where we are one

Did you see me smiling all these days ?

I've been trying to call you all the time, all these days, all these nights

But, I stop myself, 'cause, may be you don't want me anymore, you don't need me anymore

You say that you love me

You say that you want me

You say that you need me

You say that you can't live without me

But I'm too much broken here inside

I think I have become a psychopath

I have become mad

I can't tolerate even a moment of separation from you

I drive myself crazy when you are not around, when you don't reply or avoid me or ignore me

I've got a guy inside me, who wants to cry and scream

But, I keep him locked inside

I don't want him to come out and see the reality

He is just too dumb to live without LOVE

memories - part1

I keep reminiscing about the days of us, you and me, very best of friends.

I miss those moments, we shared a beautiful life.

I miss those long late night talks on phone.

I hated to talk by sms, but you habituated me for it.

Lots n lots of sms, in a day.

Only the three words in each sms, but each of them was so special for me.

The sound of your voice, when you said, 'I love you'.

A mail, in your simple words, when you wrote that you love me.

I'm the only one and we will be together forever.

Nothing can change your mind, 'cause you love me and you know that I love you.

You would never think of anyone else, 'cause it would be a sin for you.

You deleted all the trails, all the mails, all the conversations, all chats and histories.

But you could not erase our memories, you could not erase our feelings, that stay inside your heart.

I still got the recorded conversations of us, when I listen to it, still reminds me of your feelings.

All your words, all your laughs, all the silent moments, your breathe, when you used to say, that I'm all yours, by heart, by mind, by soul, and you used to feel it, when you really meant it.

Still remember your face, when we used to separate, 'cause we had to go home.

But I could always figure it out, that you were never prepared for it.

The way you used to look at me, stare, when train would horn and start to leave.

Our eyes used to speak, and long for another moment to be with each other.

The phone used to ring, right after the moment, 'cause you never wanted to let go a moment without me by your side.

Where are those days gone ???

We are changed a lot !!!

Both of us !!!

I would do it all again !!!

But, I'm helpless, if you don't feel it same.

LOVE is a decease

LOVE is a decease (also known as loveria), once infected, you are as good as dead.
Doctors and scientists have not found a cure on it till date (and they never will).
However, there's common theory which accepts that the only medicine for this decease is more LOVE. But must be supplied as per the need.
Sometimes missing just one dosage, could lead the patient to go crazy, mad and wild at everyone.

LOVE is a drug

LOVE is a drug, once addicted, there is no coming back.
But beware, lack of LOVE or even excess of it, can lead to malfunctioning of the heart, making it unstable or unusable forever.

What is love ?

What is love ?

A most widely and commonly asked question all over the world or may be across the universe.

LOVE
a feeling that knows no boundaries
a feeling that can't be taught
a feeling that can't be expressed in words
a feeling that can destroy the life of beings in LOVE
a feeling that steals sleep and rest
a feeling that can make you smile and shed a tear both at the same time
a feeling that can cause sever pain and heartache, which may increase with every breathe and last forever
a feeling that can make rocks melt down
a feeling that can unearth the soul from its hiding place
a feeling that has potential to destroy the existence of mankind
a feeling with the nature of extreme tolerance
a feeling with the power of moving the mountains
a feeling so hazardous that without use of any weapon can kill thousands of people standing against its path
a feeling worshiped by God himself
a feeling above God, 'cause even God finds himself helpless against the souls who are in LOVE

it's nothing but a feeling
the only difference is ...
for someone, it's the feeling worth his life
and for someone it's nothing but just another feeling

a story

Lying in my arms, you asked me, "How much do you love me?"

I said,"I don't know, I can't tell you in words".
"How can I tell you how much love I have for you. But all I know is that I love you."

Then you asked,"Why do you LOVE me."
I said,"I can't tell you, why do I love you, but I will tell you a story."
Even though I had forgotten it, I collected my memory and gathered some words.

"There used to be girl and a boy. He really loved her so much. She always kept on asking him, why do you love me and he always said that he can't tell her why he loves her. One day she was really furious and said that h don't love her, cause he can't even tell her why he loves her. She said that her friends boyfriend can tell her friend why he loves and when she keeps sharing this with her, it hurts her. He was really concerned about her, and he knew this time he has no escape, so he said,'OK, I'll try to tell you.'
'I love the way you look at me.'
'I love the way smile.'
'I love the way you hold my hand.'
'I love the way you make me feel, when I'm with you.'

Sadly, the girl meets an accident few days later and goes into coma.
The guy recovering though all the pain and facing the reality, puts a letter beside her pillow.

It read like this,
Now that you can't see me the way you used to be, I don't love you.
Now that you don't smile, I don't love you.
Now that you can't hold my hand, I don't love you.
Now that you can't make me feel anything, I don't love you.

But, I still love you, 'cause that is the way LOVE is."

I love you still
I did, I do and I will

YOU ARE MY LIFE

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No !!!

Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really !!!

Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No !!!

Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No !!!

Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No !!!

Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No !!!

Girl: Choose - me or your life
Boy: my life !!!

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because YOU ARE MY LIFE.

is it that ... ???

is it that you LOVE me 'cause you need me

or

is it that you need me 'cause you LOVE me

is it that you LOVE me 'cause you can't live without me

or

is it that you can't live without me 'cause you LOVE me

You say, you know everything.

You say, you know that you hurt me.

You say, you know that you gave me pain.

But, what you don't realize is, that I'm still wounded.

I'm still hurt and this pain remains.

After all the said and done, I have many reaons to hate you.

I should hate you, for breaking my trust.

I should hate you for backstabbing my heart.

I should hate you for hurting my soul.

I should hate you for betraying me.

But every time I try, I end up hating myself.

I'm so out of my mind, that I don't feel anything.

Did you see me smile last night ?

I have gone really numb.

This is not about us, but about me.

I am tired of being myself.

I'm tired of living like this, with you or without you.

If I share my true feelings, ain't it shows that I love you.

Don't love me, 'cause I love you, love me for loving me.

'Cause, I hate to see the one I love is happy with somebody else, but I surely hate it more to see the one I love is unhappy with me…

LOVE is MADNESS

When love is not madness, it's not LOVE.
 I love you to the point of madness, that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to live.

There was a time when you were mad about me and about the love that we shared.
You were MAD and you are still the only MAD, but not mad anymore, for anything.
I'm still mad, but am I MAD for you ?
I'm mad at this world.
I'm mad about myself and the way I love you.
I don't trust people, not even my best friends, my family.
I'm going insane.
I hate to be with myself.
I hate to be alone even for a moment.
I don't even love myself.
I just feel like my life has run through me and I have no reason left to live.
Even though I hate to be with myself, I spend time alone, trying to make my heart understand.
But, I always find myself helpless against my heart.
I don't care for anyone, not even about me, but I can't stop caring about you.

I miss the days, I miss the nights, all those precious memories of you and me.
I miss the way I used to be.
I miss the way you used to be, my friend, my companion, my faith, my trust, my hope, my belief, my LOVE, my soulmate.

You were the reason I used to wake up early in the morning.
You were the reason I used to finish my work quickly.
You were the reason I used to smile, even in the pain.

I need my reason back ...

तुझ्या शिवाय मी कसा जगू

I wanna die !!!

This is getting worse day after day.
It's bad than I had ever imagined and still it's getting badder.
We're going nowhere, just standing in the middle of road.
How long you want me to hold on !!!
I'm dying every moment, inside of me.
Nobody knows, nobody cares.
What do you want me to do.
What my heart wants me to do.
What my brain asks me to do.
What my friends feel I need to do.
What my family expects me to do.
Damn it !!!
My mind is just fucked up.
What am I supposed to do.
After all the said and done, wounded by your words and acts, why do I still love you ???
I don't want to love you, I just want to die !!!
I just want to end myself and finish this off.
I don't want anyone, I don't need anyone.
I just want to die right away.

Why don't you understand !!!
I have lost the sense of living.
I have got no reason to live.
I have got no self respect.
I have got no goal in my life.
I have got no love.
All my feelings are dead.

If I does the same thing, put your picture on my profile, will you send your brothers to kill me.
Will you help me end it all.
I want to feel free and fly.
I'm uncomfortable under my own skin.

I can still feel your touch, and it drives me crazy.
I still remember the smell of your mouth, your sleeps on my shoulder, drying your hairs in front of me, irritating you while brushing, when I fed you with my hand.
All your blank calls, when we were apart, but you couldn't live without me.
Hundreds of SMS saying 'LOVE YOU', in those first few days of love.

But, now I know the reality.
It will never be the same.
That's why, I want to die.
I want to meet God and ask him, what did I sin so bad, that you cursed two souls so without mercy.
But, may be I know his answer, and that is another reason why I want to die.

So, tell me !!!
How many times, I'm going to get punished for loving you.

you took away

you took away the girl, who said,'I LOVE YOU'
you took away the LOVE, yours and mine too
you took away my heart
you took away the kindness of soul
you took away the mind that used to think
you took away the power of brain
you took away my passion
you took away all the dreams
you took away the days
you took away the sunshine
you took away the rays of hope
you took away the happiness
you took away the smile
you took away the sparkle from these eyes
you took away the purity of touch
you took away the gentle caring part of me
you took away the warmth from my hug
you took away the trust from my kiss
you took away the faith in goodness
you took away the sense of living
you took away the reason why I lived
you took away the magic from life
you took away the breathe
you took away the beat from heart
you took away the blood from veins
you took away the sense of confidence
you took away the respect of being myself

कैसी है वो दीवानी

जिस्म से जान ले गयी वो
दिल से धड़कन ले गयी वो
सिने से साँसे ले गयी वो
आँखों से आँसू ले गयी वो

बसाकर यादो का शहर वो
सारी मीठी मुलाक़ाते ले गयी
खुद ही किए थे जो वादे
खुद ही सारी बाते ले गयी

चीर के मेरे बदन को
अंदर से आत्मा ले गयी
गुजर जाती जिंदगी सोते हुए
लेकिन नींदो से ख्वाब ले गयी

मरते थे मेरे लबो पे
छीनकर होटो से मुसकान ले गयी
कैसी है वो दीवानी
मेरी ज़िंदगी का सबसे कीमती सामान ले गयी

our love is real

sometimes I take the road
don't know where I'm going
don't care what it leads to
I keep falling and stumbling

I don't want to stop,
till the time I reach you
I just want to teach you
all the remaining lessons of love

I just want to kiss you
and want to hold you tight
as long as night turns to day
and the day turns to night

I want to tell you
it's our love, and it's real
I want you to see,
I want you to feel
you are safe in my heart,
our love is real

but I am the bloody knight

nothing you say,
makes me feel right
under this heavy darkness,
I'm craving for the light

sun has gone pale
and even moon don't seem bright
I'm crashing into my bed,
its just another crazy night

I keep my eyes closed,
cause you are nowhere into sight
you were always the princess,
but I am the bloody knight

the last time when you were here

the last time when you were here
and the other day
when I came to receive you
I did not wanted to be in
but you again fainted

so I was in, looking at you
but you were lost
as if you were hiding something
I sensed something was wrong
but when I had trusted you
I dismissed my thoughts

the other night, you confessed
you told me about the things that happened
the things that went wrong

you told me it was a mistake
and it was not meant to be
you said it happened
and you never did it

you hurt me so much that time
but you were sorry
so I forgave you
'cause I thought your feelings are true
I never thought you lied to me
'cause, you begged for mercy
and then you cried to me

but now I know the things
that you did
the things that you hide
the things that you lied
the things that you never told me

I was such a fool
I trusted you blindly
again and again,
when you had given me only pain

why did you betray
why did you break my trust
didn't I love you always ???
tell me a thing that I didn't do
tell me a season I didn't love you

then ...
why ???
why ???
why ???

it's not the thing that you broke my heart
it's not the thing that you hurt my self respect
it's not the thing that you cursed my soul
but you betrayed me !!!

all I want is a girl to prove me, that they all are not same

This is for all the girls out there ...

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's her.'

There's a saying in Marathi, which might make you all understand something ...

तुमचा होतो खेळ, दुसर्‍याचा जातो जीव

letter 1

THEY SAY ...

LOVE is not to forget but to forgive,
not to see, but to understand,
not to hear, but to listen,
not to let go, but to HOLD ON !!!

THEY SAY ...

Sometimes, LOVE is about learning to let GO !!!

Are you confused ???
Same with me !!!

I tried everything.
I tried both the things.

I tried letting her GO, for betterment of her life.
But then she held me so tightly, that I was breathless.
A couple of times more, I tried moving away, but she was again crazy, dying without me.

And then when she said SHE LOVED ME,
I forgave her and also tried to forget the past.
I saw and tried to understand her, but I'm a human after all, may be I missed it sometimes.
I heard the words that she said, and I listened to things that she didn't say.
And later when she tried to move away, I HELD on us as much possible.

So when I trusted her, by heart, by mind , by soul, she stabbed me unexpectedly, that too in the back, as she always did. I had trust her blindly, may be that was my mistake.

The way she broke my trust, left me shattered, I'm afraid to live.
I'm afraid to trust anyone anymore.
I don't even trust my friends, and it hurts me like HELL.
I feel sick of myself, when I talk to them.
I feel ashamed of myself, when I face them.

See !!! What you have done to ME !!!

May be I know the reason, why you wanted to end it all.
Yeah !!! I know the reason, why we are apart !!!

I know what you have gone through, and what you are going through.
So, now it's my turn, to bear it all.
I pray to God for all your sorrows and ask him to deliver all my blessings at your door.

So BAD !!!

So BAD !!!
I'm moving
moving further away
from YOU
from FRIENDS
from FAMILY
from myself

now are you satisfied ?
but I'm not gratified

I hate being someone else
this is not me
it's not me
I don't feel like talking to anybody
not even my closest friends
those childhood friends, who were always there for me
and I keep hurting them
those college friends, who always stood by me, caught me when I fell
and now I abuse them
those friends, with whom I played all my life
we drank, we ate, we fought together
and now I don't even feel like facing them

I have become someone different
an alien ???
then why don't I feel anything
why don't I feel like talking to them when they ring me
why don't I reply, when they message me
I hide myself, when they come to call me

how many days

how many days
how many hours
a garden with thorns
there are no flowers

life full of fears
and less of power
I try to bath
but its acid in the shower